My direct experience with five generations of elders and detailed knowledge of the parents and grandparents of the oldest generation has shown that continuing community engagement mattered more to their quality of life than any private dwelling. Those who thrived did so because they spent their final years helping others rather than just aging in private. It is more about getting outside your own head, surprising yourself with what you can do for and learn from someone else than any fantasy about a forever private home.
Two recent books, I Was a Teen Avenger by Kate Warpeha and Special Exits: a Graphic Memoir by Joyce Farmer highlighted the issues. The teenage heroine in the former required a community to help a traumatized classmate deal with abuse. The solutions required help from an old woman in her building, her mother talking to the girl’s parents, and several peers with problems of their own but willing to help. All benefited from focusing on someone else’s needs beyond their own. The old couple in the latter book were intelligent, loved each other deeply, but ignored their inability to cope alone in their home. By the time they surrendered to outside intervention, none of their options were good.
Our list of ideal locations is a nearby college where we can take classes, a botanic garden or park where we can walk, good access to transportation for research trips, and a strong community of close neighbors who work together to address each other’s needs. Options outside of cohousing/intentional communities offer only proximity in space, not control over rules and solutions, or any expectation that all residents or family members will work together on anything. Finding new ways to be of use to each other seems like the best gift any of us can give ourselves, especially if/when the things we used to enjoy doing are no longer possible. Rachel Carson Ecovillage at Providence Heights gives us everything we want and need. The energy-efficient new home is a very nice bonus.
– RCE Founding member David Clapp